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my bright smiles,
my carefree laughter,
my painless stories,
my innocent words,
my recent actions,
make me the greatest liar of all.

i have some things to say to…

you. why did you give me the wrong idea? why did you make yourself someone more special than you should be in my eyes? i try to think of you like everybody else and i do that just fine until you come around. if i come off as mean, it’s because i’m trying to do the right thing. the things i want to say to you, the way i want to treat you and the way i want you to treat me; it’s all wrong.

you. get over it. i don’t care. no one cares. it’s life. deal with it. everyone lives it and everyone gets by. why can’t you? everytime you speak, i try not to listen because your words just annoy me. i don’t like the way you react when certain things are said or when certain things happen. i just don’t like it. what i hate the most, though, is how you justify yourself. it’s stupid. stop it.

you. i wish you’d stop meaning something to me. i wish that everytime i saw you, nothing would happen. i wish that everytime i thought about you, nothing would hurt. i wish i never saw you as a great guy.

you. why can’t you be just like everyone else? why can’t you be like how you were when i met you? i miss you.

and if you think this is about you, you’re probably very wrong. my world does not revolve around my problems with you, so you can chill ^^

because ruzanna is pretty genius.

“Why do people fall in and out of love so easily?” was what she wrote  and it made me think. for some reason…i was terasa. hahaha, ok. maybe love is too strong much too strong of a word to name whatever i’ve felt for any boy who is not related to me. blah blah, i feel so stupid writing about this and i’ll probably regret it tomorrow.

you know what i hate? when you start liking someone, like really liking someone, you end up finding something horribly wrong with them. well, i do. and it frustrates me to no end that no one has ever been “good enough” for me to keep liking for any good reason, you know? boys, boys, boys. life would be so damn easy if they all came with warning labels.

taken.

likes boys, too.

enjoys playing with feelings.

will never ever have feelings for you.

anything, JUST GIVE ME A CLUE, WILL YOU? D:

i suppose it would be ridiculous of me to expect you to tell me everything i want to know about you ): i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i do. i do?

on another note, i bought 2 golden panchax the other day and they’re so pretty. i want to get another one<3 and i think my brother will be getting me a few guppies from one of his friends, so i’m super excited (: